"Are ye tired o' those pish weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here are a series o' promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute wee smiley faces on this card . Just the stone cold truth o' a great friendship.
1. When ye are sad -- I will help you get pished and plot revenge against the bastard who made ye sad
2. When ye are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ye
3. When ye smile -- I will know ye are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in
4. When ye are scared -- I will take the pish oot o' you every chance I get,
until you're NOT
5. When ye are worried -- I will tell ye stories about how much worse it could be until YE STOP WHINING!
6.. When yer confused -- I will try to use only wee words.
7.. When ye are sick -- Stay the f*ck away from me until ye are well again.
I don't want whatever ye've got.
8.. When ye fall, I will laugh my f*ckin' heed off at you, you clumsy arse,
........but I'll help you up.
9.. This is my oath.... I pledge it tae the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
Because you are my friend.
Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth."
Pinched from a post on BB.